I don't know even where to begin...
Since this is a health-related blog, I guess I'll start there.
My relationship with food wasn't always an issue, but my self/body-image was. I have pictures of me at my prom, when I was 16 and about 103 lbs with my hand on my stomach, because I thought I was fat. I look back now and think that I'd give anything to have that body again.
I was running a 5K almost everyday on my lunch break in the summer. I got engaged at 17, but found him with another girl. Enter lower self-esteem.
College came and so did the fast food, beer and late-night drunk pizza. My "freshman 15" became "freshman 30" (or maybe even more)! The 5K running was non-existent. The list of rejections from men grew and grew. Enter the beginning of an eating disorder.
|Me, on right|
Luckily, I found the man of my dreams and I also found God. But my eating disorder only worsened and worsened. After struggling through our second year of marriage in 2005, my self-hatred was at an all-time low and I was using and bingeing on food on a regular basis to numb the pain.
To the glory of God, we made it through that rough time and have never looked back. Each year we grow and grow and get closer and closer and fall more and more in love with each other. My husband is my best friend and my life wouldn't be complete without him.
In 2006, the Lord blessed us with a baby girl. No complications with pregnancy (except a very minor case of Gestational Diabetes) and it only took us 5 months to get pregnant.
I gained 20 lbs with the pregnancy and lost 25 lbs when she was born.
|Me, 2-weeks after giving birth.|
When my daughter was about 4-5 months old, in 2007, I decided to attend Overeaters Anonymous to try to gain control of my eating habits. I didn't want to pass the issue onto her. I was sugar-free for 40 days and decided I was "cured" and quit. It didn't take long and I was out of control again. This was partly due to the fact that I was diagnosed with PCOS and a few months later, it was suspected that I was also suffering from endometriosis.
|Me, 2nd from the right|
In April of 2008, I lost a daughter, which we named Haven, at 9 weeks gestation. My weight crept up to it's all-time high of 161 lbs.
December of 2008, I underwent a laparotomy for endometriosis of the bowels, micropolyps/inflammation of the uterus, PCOS, pressure of the fallopian tubes and a kink in my intestines. I was also diagnosed with Thyroid System Disfunction at this time. I was seen in Omaha, NE by Dr. Thomas Hilgers, because he is supposedly the best in the nation for endometriosis removal. His average reoccurrence rates are 12 years, as opposed to the "normal" doctor's average of 1.5 years.
After surgery, I had no appetite and began intermittently working out again. I lost 16 lbs.
We immediately began trying for another baby.
In the meantime, I underwent eating disorder treatment at The Emily Program. They do great work there and I really learned a lot.
April 2010 I decided to become loosely Vegetarian. You can find my reasons why here.
Enter August 2010... we decided to stop trying for a baby, because the stress of it was just too much. I was seeing my regular local OBGYN and discovered I needed another surgery due to pain I was having on my left side. That surgery was performed on August 6th, 2010. I was banking on the fact that the endometriosis was gone and not returning for 12 years. To my astonishment, it was back. The pain I was having on my left side was due to my intestine being "glued" to my uterus by endometriosis.
In October 2010, after a 4.5 years battle with infertility and to our disbelief (For the complete story click here), we found out we were pregnant for a fourth time.
|Me, at 12 weeks|
I fought my entire pregnancy against Gestational Diabetes and eventually beat it, so I could deliver via waterbirth using Hypnobirthing methods for a pain-free delivery!
On July 19, 2011 our daughter was born. During the pregnancy I stayed active and ate a very healthy diet. I only gained 5 lbs.
My goal is to eat healthy food without sacrificing passion or taste. And to truly love myself and appreciate the journey... every step the of way.