In 2006, the Lord blessed us with a beautiful baby girl. No complications and it only took us 5 months to get pregnant. Or so we thought... we hadn’t really been trying, but we also hadn’t been preventing for about a year and half. It was only 5 months from when we started trying.
Fast forward to 6 months after my daughter’s perfect birth. I went into the doctor with some complaints and after a blood test and an ultrasound, it was confirmed that I had a condition called PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. For those who don’t know, PCOS is the most common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age. It causes a woman to not ovulate and therefore suffer infertility, gain weight, and many other delightful things to her physical appearance.
But PCOS wasn’t the only thing that they found on the ultrasound that day. They also found that I was 3 weeks pregnant. A week later, I lost the baby.
Fast-forward again a few months, and I was back at the doctor with symptoms of pain so severe I couldn’t get out of bed and which made me throw up. It was suspected I was also suffering from a condition called Endometriosis. Again, for those that don’t know, endometriosis is a painful disorder where tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus - the endometrium - grows outside your uterus. Displaced endometrial tissue continues to act as it normally would: it thickens, breaks down and bleeds with each menstrual cycle. And because this displaced tissue has no way to exit your body, it becomes trapped. Surrounding tissue can become irritated, eventually developing scar tissue and adhesions - abnormal tissue that bind organs together.
I sought out the help of a doctor in Omaha, because he was said to be the best in the nation for surgeries removing endometriosis. We waited 6 weeks to hear back from him. He indicated that he could help us. It was a 1 month waiting period just to make the surgery appointment! And then it was going to be another 6 months before I could head down for my surgery.
In January 2008, we thought we were going to have to push back the surgery because once again, we were pregnant. However, 9 weeks later, just after my birthday, we lost the baby again.
That October, we headed down to Omaha for a laparoscopy. That’s where they make a small incision and place a light in your belly. Sometimes they can take care of the endometriosis and no further surgery is needed. In my case, they could do nothing because of the severity of my endometriosis and where it was located... which was all over my lower intestines.
So, I returned in Omaha 2 months later and spent Xmas in the hospital recovering from full-blown abdominal surgery. During that surgery, they not only removed endometriosis, but also determined I had an adrenal gland issue and a thyroid issue. But, they were able to correct it all and we were told I would be “fertile Myrtle” now. Yeah, right.
Since December 2008, we have been on 2 different fertility drugs, monitored daily temperatures, had monthly blood draws, tracked my cycle, had sex on the “right” days, got painful progesterone shots in the rear end, on and on... It wasn’t until this past June that I decided that enough was enough. We completely quit trying. And I got real angry with God. I questioned why He allowed his faithful people to suffer, I questioned why unfit mothers were getting pregnant & I wasn’t, I even questioned His existence and His love for me.
July 31st I visited a prayer cabin, by myself. Just me and God. And boy did He show up. But the main thing that happened there was this: for the first time, I felt peace that Izzy may be my only child. And I stopped questioning God’s love for me... until... Aug 6th.
I was back on the surgery table, removing endometriosis, once again. This time, it caused my lower intestine to become glued to my uterus. And in case you were wondering, YES, that’s very painful! After that surgery, I realized that Western medicine had nothing to offer me. I had 2 conditions which are incurable. I could rollover and die or I could fight the good fight. I found a Naturopathic Dr and started changing my lifestyle. I figured I was going to do things God’s way, with God’s medicine. And it helped a lot!
But the question returned, “Why, God? Why won’t you take the pain away? I’ve made peace w/never having anymore kids, even if I don’t understand why. But why, physical pain?” God kept telling me to read Job and I kept not listening. I picked up “Eat, Pray, Love” and it took me 3 weeks to read about 10 pages. God wasn’t ordaining it. I tried to get a church series from a friend who said, “I just don’t feel released to give this to you right now, for whatever reason.” God wasn’t ordaining it. Then Lisa gave her talk a few weeks ago and in our group, someone brought up Job. “OK GOD, I GET IT. I’LL READ JOB.”
So, last Thursday, I picked up my Bible and read the first 2 chapters of Job. And I got it. And I wept. And I repented. And I deemed that never again would I question God’s love for me, or God’s plan for my life.
The next morning, I found out I was pregnant! :) So, the moral of the story is... I am living proof that God can make a way where the world says there isn’t one. And I'm choosing to believe that this pregnancy will be a success, but either way, God still performed a miracle in my eyes... both with my daughter Isabel and with this baby now.
