Thursday, October 14, 2010

The "Exposed" Movement - A Vulnerable Moment

Have you heard of the "Exposed" Movement? If not, check it out here. And here is my brave friend Tina, who "exposed" herself while pregnant.

After seeing Tina's post, I was totally inspired to get on board with this movement and expose myself as well. At least, that was my first thought.

Unfortunately, my next thought wasn't so positive. "You can't do that. Everyone will see what your stomach really looks like. And since it can't produce babies, what good is it?!"

Obviously this statement isn't entirely true. It gave me one beautiful and perfect baby girl (who is almost 4!) But since my DD's existence, my body has failed me time and time again. And I've failed it, too. Wow, there's a revelation!

The truth is, I've never liked my body, even when I was 103 lbs. But, now I truly HATE it. I DESPISE IT. Because it doesn't work right. It doesn't do what it's supposed to do. It produces daily pain instead of children. It brings me sorrow instead of joy. (Clarity: I love myself, I just don't love my body. I have learned there's a distinction there.)

I can honestly say that I have nothing nice to write in the space where my stomach is. So, truth be told, I'm not ready to expose myself. God has work to do in me. But one day, ladies and gentlemen, one day, I will stand exposed with the others. Until then, keep me in your prayers.