I know this is cheesy, but it works. Go buy yourself one of those sticks that you find in therapists offices that have glitter and water and confetti in them. (Or not! Buy something a little less distracting if you're like me and get all tangled up in playing with them!) :) Sit down with the person you have a conflict with. And here's the formula: (BTW - whoever is talking gets to hold the stick - and if you're not holding the stick - then you hold you tounge!)
1. Speaker says what they have to say & passes the stick
2. Listener paraphrases what the speaker said & passes the stick
3. Speaker agrees that is what they said or disagrees and restates what they were trying to say
4. Repeat until Listener fully understands what Speaker was trying to say
5. Listner now gets to be the speaker and on the process goes
Like I said, it's cheesy. Can you tell I've been in counseling? I'm not ashamed of it. How many of you out there have it all together? That's what I thought! We could all use a little help from our friends (or trained therapists)...right? So, I challenge you, the next time you need to talk with someone about a heated subject - use this technique and then try to tell me I'm weird and it's doesn't work.
